Why I'll never help anyone else

We started keeping Lydian 2 months ago and while I love keeping her, I am actually able to keep her no more than 3 days a week.  It takes me the other 4 to do the things I need to do and rest. 

This did not please Shina so she started criticizing me and insulting me every time she came to pick Lydian up.  I didn’t make healthy enough food, I didn’t know anything about grammar, I stole Lydian’s socks (that I also bought her).  She came in at 7 and stayed around til we hinted that she needed to get Lydian home at about 9:30 or 10 so she could go to school the next day.  When they spent the night, I had to nag like both of them were 6 to get them up so they could get going and get Lydian off to school.  I was wrong to make her toaster pastries because they have sugar.  It was better for her to eat cookies and cinnamon buns at school.  If they stayed on a weekend, she’d sleep in til 12 or 1, no matter what Larry and I had planned for the day. 

This Friday she didn’t bother to tell me she was picking Lydian up in a fit of shittiness.  I went to the school and she wasn’t there. When I thanked her on FB for her consideration, this is what she said: “You're welcome. Fridays and weekends I'd said I would take her to my Aunts', because you said a few weeks ago you were more comfortable with watching her a few days at a time. Thank you for the passive aggression, though.”  I wanted to answer this:  “I could have just said, ‘Fuck you!’”

We have spent something like $16,000 on this girl since she called up in up in 2006. She was about to be evicted and none of her family could be bothered to go get her. We bought food and kitchen stuff to start housekeeping, 2 cars, 3 computers, a refrigerator, Sara’s furniture, clothes and toys and money.  We have driven over in the middle of the night to pick her up when her BF tried to beat her up for the 3^rd time.  Larry went with her to all the court crap and I kept Lydian.  We helped her get her driving license and took her to sign up for foodstamps and Medicaid before she could drive.

I have cried nearly every waking hour since yesterday.  Every where I turn is a reminder of Lydian.  I have no idea if I’ll ever see her again.  I don’t want Shina to do what I tell her but I will not be insulted and slammed in my own home by her or anyone else.