My 50 Shades Rant

The series of books came to my attention a couple of years ago when I found out that they were really Twilight fanfiction turned into a ‘real’ book and I have to tell you I use the term 'real' VERY loosely.  I decided to read the first one since so many people were tittering over it on FB. 

Holy shit!  What a mistake!  I was introduced to a drab, dull character named Anastasia but called Ana. She was as interesting as vacuuming.  Maybe less.  And dumb.  This girl made was made for the term dim bulb.

She gets to interview this rich guy with red hair and flannel slacks than hang on his hips in some mystical way.  We know this because she tells us over and over and over and over and over…

Somehow he makes her sign a contract to be his submissive even though she doesn’t know what sex actually is and certainly has no idea what a submissive is.  She hates it and likes it and blah blah blah…

By this time, I told Larry that this was the worst book I’d ever tried to read.  He actually had a wonderful idea – stop wasting my time and read something I liked to read.  I followed his advice and stopped.

So how can I talk about it? 

I read enough to know it was poorly written.    I also read enough to know that I did not care for the subject matter and also enough to know that this was not a good representation of what BDSM aficionados call the ‘lifestyle”.  That sort of thing doesn’t float my boat and I’ll be damned if I even can make sense of it but to each his own. 

It is quite obvious that this writer, and I call her that loosely, did no research on the lifestyle she was portraying.  Hell, she didn’t even bother to learn American idiom and geography to write this book.

And now they advertise the movie.  Have you seen the trailers?  The actors are totally unappealing.  Don Johnson’s daughter looks so ugly and plain that you wonder what anyone would find appealing and the guy who plays Grey is totally unremarkable.  I’ve even read several accounts that the movie was so dull and unsexy that they had to reshoot scenes to make it sexy because there was NO chemistry between the two.

I won’t be seeing the movie.  The books were so bad that I couldn’t force myself to finish them.  You do what you like.  I’m waiting for Avengers: Age of Ultron.  Give me some James Spader any time instead of E.L. James.

Sorrow without End

I have no words.  I sat down here to try to make some sense out of the unimaginable, nine years later.  People tell you that it lessens with time.  They are lying.  The day of her funeral, my mother’s cousin, who had lost his daughter 17 years before, said a good day is one in which her loss is not the first thing you think of when you wake up.  I still think of her at least once every minute of every day. I’m not sure a day had passed in nine years that I’ve not cried.

 

I don’t cry for her.  She is all right, wherever her beautiful spirit is dwelling.  But Larry and I are lost. Completely. Utterly. And worst of all, hopelessly.  She was the heart and soul of our family, our futures, our hopes and dreams. She was the only one.  Without her, the days spread meaninglessly from one to another.  I bide my time here.

 

We were cleaning out some things today for some new furniture and I found this little poem she’d written sometime.  “In my dreams, I skip on clouds…”

 

Days like today, it is nearly more than I can bear.

 

 

On War and Peace

On War and Peace

Again

I saw an interesting discussion on Ukraine, Russia and China today.  I am a pacifist.  I do not believe in war.  Some of the greatest men of our time, indeed of any time, were opposed to war and violence.  They believed in changing the world by other means, which did not mean that they weren’t willing to die for their beliefs themselves. 

Jesus Christ… Tolstoy… Gandhi… King:  these were men of nonviolence. 

Over 160,000,000 people died as a result of war in the 20^th century.  This is over half the population of the United States today – dead from war.  There are all sorts of arguments for war but in the end, wars are about territory, money, and power.  Period.  I’m not sure any human life is worth any of those things.  I am sure 160 million is a high cost, too high a cost. 

I can dink around on the computer and come up with all sorts of horrible statistics and facts for both sides of the argument.  So can you.   

Those of you who grew up after the Vietnam War and have not been in war yourselves, have seen little of war.  My generation was treated to up close and personal press coverage of the Vietnam War.  We saw the bodies, the wounded, and much more every night on the evening news.  We heard the lies the politicians and generals told us.  We saw brave and good men treated like criminals when they came home.  We saw unarmed college students die, shot by our own soldiers and then we woke up. 

War is indeed a form of hell. Ask the men who’ve been there.  I have met few who’d recommend it.  Men still suffer from the stress of the Vietnam War and it was over forty years ago.  I can remember my Uncle Will, who, when I was a child in the 1960s, still suffered from ‘shell shock’ from his days in the trenches in WWI.  If war has this much impact on individuals, imagine what it does to a people, to a nation, to the world. 

In my 54 years on this planet, I have seen no good come of war.  I do not expect that to change anytime soon. 

Albert Einstein was often quoted as saying "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."  If that doesn’t disturb you and make you think, then there is no hope for you anyway.

To quote John Lennon, all we are saying is give peace a chance. 

Protecting our religious beliefs

I guess it’s time for another rant. 

Every day I see “Let’s put God back in school.” 

Let’s not. 

First of all, our freedom of religion guarantees that neither the federal or state government can tell us how to worship in our country.  This was the most important amendment to the Constitution of the United States.  It gave us freedom to speak and worship as we wish.  The basis for this goes all the way back to Maryland Colony in 1634. 

This amendment was not established to take God out of government but rather to keep the government out of our churches.  School is, whether we like it not, an extension of the government because in our country, we have government funded education that is free to all. 

If you can’t see the conflict already then I will spell it out.  How can you run a public school for all children but force a certain belief system on them?  Christians can’t agree with one another on much so why would I want someone else teaching my child about faith?  That job is and has always been the job of the parents, not the state or federal government and I don’t think I want to trust it to them now. 

Schools have been tasked with a job beyond what was originally intended.  They now are expected to teach morality and to baby sit as well educate.  Do we really also want them to teach our children what they are allowed to believe?  What if they teach my kids things I disagree with?

Let’s not put God in school.  Let’s teach our children about God in our homes and our churches instead.  And let others do the same with their own religion. 

Why I'll never help anyone else

We started keeping Lydian 2 months ago and while I love keeping her, I am actually able to keep her no more than 3 days a week.  It takes me the other 4 to do the things I need to do and rest. 

This did not please Shina so she started criticizing me and insulting me every time she came to pick Lydian up.  I didn’t make healthy enough food, I didn’t know anything about grammar, I stole Lydian’s socks (that I also bought her).  She came in at 7 and stayed around til we hinted that she needed to get Lydian home at about 9:30 or 10 so she could go to school the next day.  When they spent the night, I had to nag like both of them were 6 to get them up so they could get going and get Lydian off to school.  I was wrong to make her toaster pastries because they have sugar.  It was better for her to eat cookies and cinnamon buns at school.  If they stayed on a weekend, she’d sleep in til 12 or 1, no matter what Larry and I had planned for the day. 

This Friday she didn’t bother to tell me she was picking Lydian up in a fit of shittiness.  I went to the school and she wasn’t there. When I thanked her on FB for her consideration, this is what she said: “You're welcome. Fridays and weekends I'd said I would take her to my Aunts', because you said a few weeks ago you were more comfortable with watching her a few days at a time. Thank you for the passive aggression, though.”  I wanted to answer this:  “I could have just said, ‘Fuck you!’”

We have spent something like $16,000 on this girl since she called up in up in 2006. She was about to be evicted and none of her family could be bothered to go get her. We bought food and kitchen stuff to start housekeeping, 2 cars, 3 computers, a refrigerator, Sara’s furniture, clothes and toys and money.  We have driven over in the middle of the night to pick her up when her BF tried to beat her up for the 3^rd time.  Larry went with her to all the court crap and I kept Lydian.  We helped her get her driving license and took her to sign up for foodstamps and Medicaid before she could drive.

I have cried nearly every waking hour since yesterday.  Every where I turn is a reminder of Lydian.  I have no idea if I’ll ever see her again.  I don’t want Shina to do what I tell her but I will not be insulted and slammed in my own home by her or anyone else. 

9/11

9/11/2001 is one of those days etched into our consciousness.  Everyone remembers where they were and what they were doing on that fateful day. I had just gotten Sara off to school, showered and headed up to Mama’s before I was heading to Walmart to do groceries. 

Mama came out the door and said, “They think that someone crashed a plane in New York on purpose.”  I said that it had to be an accident but by the time we went back in the house, we found out the second plane had hit.  I went on to Walmart.  I was almost there when I heard about the Pentagon and called my husband at work.

Had someone declared war on us?  No one knew but as the day unfolded and the plane diverted from Boston by its heroic passengers crashed into that field, we all knew what had happened.  It was unthinkable but it had happened. 

But that is not what is on my mind on this 9/11.

The aftermath is what I am thinking of today.  We went to war in Afghanistan to chase a ghost in 2001.  We nave spent in excess of 600 billion dollars there since 2001 and over 800 billion in Iraq hunting nonexistent WMDs since 2003. 

Our economy has tanked and politicians want to fix it by pulling any monies from the programs that provide education, health services and aid to the disabled, the poverty stricken and the working poor.  Less than 500 billion have been spent on ALL social programs since then, including education.

Let’s talk some real numbers – 4488 American soldiers have died in Iraq as well as over 32000 injured.  Over 2000 soldiers have died in Afghanistan and it’s THE LONGEST WAR IN OUR NATION’S HISTORY and no seems exactly clear what we’re doing there.  Perhaps we should remember that war in Afghanistan is a major factor in the breakup of the Soviet Union because they went broke fighting a losing war there.

And now Syria.  While I do see a threat to the Syrian people, I do not feel that the US needs to be in another war.  Nothing we have done has brought back even one of the dead from 9/11 and to be a so-called Christian nation, we are mighty bloodthirsty when it comes to revenge or whatever these ridiculous wars are and have been for more than ten years. 

I believe the best way to honor the dead, both the civilians who died on 9/11 and the soldiers who have paid with life and limb is to declare peace and stop the senseless fighting and bloodshed.  I see no room for discussion there at all.  War is not better than peace.  Ever. 

On Religion

With religion at the forefront with a new pope, I decided to say this.

I don't argue religion with people much. I am a Christian, one of what Facebook folks call The Christian left. I am not a fundamentalist nor an evangelical Christian. I am Pro-choice and I favor marriage for anyone so inclined to marry. I oppose religion taught in public schools, any religion except as an academic study. It is the place of the family to provide their children with religious instruction or if they desire a religious school, then they should pay for it without my tax dollars doing so.

I expect that most Christians fall into this category.

I get offended and pissed off when (insert whatever group you like here) insists on blaming all the faults of modern society on Christianity. Christianity is corrupt but not all Christians are. I think your religion is bullshit as well but I don't tell you that every time I turn around. I am offended that you feel it's fine for you to insult my religion but woe to anyone who says anything about yours or even worse about SCIENCE.

I am totally sick of hearing how grand science is and how Christians don't believe in science. Are you all really that stupid? In the first place, I don't have any problem with science and I subscribe to its theories on the origin of the universe, among other things.

What I do have a problem with are these ideas: 1)That anything that comes from science is the truth when science has changed its truths every few months for the 53 years that I've been alive. What is true today is debunked tomorrow in favor of a more advanced theory. 2)That science is always good. Science and scientists have given us atomic weapons, nuclear waste, GMOs, global warming, air and water pollution just to name a few.

Please remember that if you consider my religion total myth that I surely feel the same about yours. Last time I checked, we still lived in a society here America where one is free to practice his or her own religion and I respect your right to do so without harassment and all I ask is that you treat me with the same courtesy.